What has my life become?!

One day, I'm writing frequent blogs and just being awesome at life and then I look again and it all stops. Life isn't as awesome and blogs aren't so frequent, instead I'm sitting- wanting to go to Peppa Pig World (without a child)... because it looks so damn awesome!

...But let me just assure you, I have a niece... I don't just sit around watching Peppa Pig while drowning my sorrows! (That is not how it works!)

How has this happened?

Have I told you, I've also started learning to knit?! (Not that there's anything wrong with knitting...)

But why is everything so tame?

Why has my hobbies changed from blogging to knitting? From Harry Potter world to Peppa Pig world? (As awesome as it may look!)

Well here is where I draw the line! From now on... Mixing it Up and Down will be upheld with pride!
There will come a day, when my blog looks back on it's life and stumbles across this rough patch.... but then it will remember that it got through this chamber of emptiness and thrived on the written word to produce a blog that was better than any other blog, a blog that can be proud of it's contents, a blog I call my own!
LONG LIVE THIS BLOG!

I suck... and I know it.

So, in my last post I promised that the next post will be back to the regular style of 'Mixing it up... and down' and that it would be super awesome! But I have not yet posted anything and therefore I suck! I do apologize. Once I get back into my groove, the posts will be flowing as ever.

Today, I looked out the window to find rays of sun breaking into my room, this filled me with gratitude and please... Stepped out, and it's as cold as the freaking arctic! I am now trapped in a Starbucks, with my lowering Latte almost coming to an end, and I don't know what to do from here. Do I run to my next destination in the hope that I won't notice the cold? Do I camp out in Starbucks until they kick me out? Do I just freeze to my imminent death? I don't know! HELP! I don't want to go outside... It's too cold!

So, this post consisted of pretty much nothing! I am sorry. I will try to do better next time. I just thought I would pop in to say "Hello!" and to let you all know that I am still alive!

Alligator Spotting and Orange Picking

I recently visited Florida for a conference... I just thought I would share two photos from that experience which I think are iconic to my visit to Florida:

Look at those wonderful, naturally-grown oranges... You can't go to Florida and not pick an orange! They were where the sunshine came from in the 'Sunshine State'.

This was a lake full of smiling alligators!

These type of photo blogs are not my usual 'Mixing it up... and down' style so, my next blog will prove to be just that so stay tuned! I just thought I'd share the reason for my recent silence and blow you away with these two bursts of Florida magnificence!

Captured in a Flash

This year I went to Tunisia on holiday. The desert was calling me as it calls the cacti and camels. I was one with the subtly desert breeze as I added dirt tracks to the yellow, powdery sand on my quad bike. I did capture a few special moments as I said good-bye to the country I will always hold in my heart:

Life is easy... (Is it?)

Lately, I've been in quite a frenzy! I guess you could call it a 'life frenzy'. Everything has just been crazy, I have been overly self-critical and have been thinking about everything.

One thing which entered my mind is that a person just assumes that life is easy, because billions of people do life everyday, but what hardly anybody discusses is how difficult it is to do life.

Even, if you lived in your own world and stayed at home you would come across challenges like what you would eat. How you would get food. How you would cook the food. And you would also have to take care of bodily functions. That is the total minimum you have to do and it is already a lot.

Then you have to think about quality of life. Your body takes a lot of maintenance: hair, makeup, clothing, weight, overall appearance. That is a lot to think about. Then you have relationships: relationships with friends, family, boyfriend, girlfriend, husbands, wives, cousins etc. They all take a lot of work otherwise they would be non-existent.

Another thing is work. You go to school, university, work and you have to put in a lot of effort to succeed otherwise you find yourself being fired or kicked out.

Everything else is optional in life, but the things I have mentioned is just the total minimum which most people do. And the whole point is that I think that the amount of effort you have to put in to do life is totally under-estimated... or at least most people make out that it is.

I'm not saying that it isn't worth it. It totally is. The more you put in, the more you get out and it is a journey where you have your up hills and down hills and even your cruises, but it just occurred to me how much work just trying to live is. You would think that by default you would just be able to stay alive, but how untrue this is!

Make sure you live life how you want to!

Now, onto shower number a trillion (just daily maintenance!)

Money is the fruit of a dead plant

I have been thinking about money lately. Currency is such a weird convention of working with things. In the olden days, I used to be able to get a sheep for 15 chickens, sometimes I could get jam for some milk and maybe if I was really lucky, I could get a smile for a smile. 

Today, in 2013, it is a lot different. I now have to give my sheep away for a few pieces of paper? And that paper, can get me jam, milk, eggs, chickens... What makes this paper so valuable? People do. 

Happiness. Sadness. Distress. Are all emotions which can come from events which occur because of this paper. What makes it so powerful? 

I can't understand the concept of money. Why do we need it? Why can't I farm a few sheep and give them away for an airline ticket? Why do the airlines insist on the paper? 

And there isn't even a standard currency for the world. There are Pounds, Dollars (all types of Dollars... Australian, American...etc), Rands, Euros. Where has all this complications come from? And who is responsible for it? I would like to have a stern word with him! 

And to top it off. Internet banking makes it even more confusing, but that's a story for another day!

Pay me in cattle and jam any day! 

Victory to a dead cow...

A little while ago, my friends and I decided that it would be a good idea to attempt a burger challenge at a local restaurant. It was a decision we had made months prior to actually attempting it, however when the night finally arrived, I think describing our feelings as being excited would be an under-statement. This was something we had been looking forward to for some time.

A few days before 'Challenge Day' arrived, we were discussing tactics of all sorts: What we would eat on the day, how much water we would drink, at what pace we would eat the challenge, what we would eat first etc. It was an overwhelming presence in our lives which would be over in a matter of hours, but for that moment, nothing was more important.

Arriving to the restaurant we were chirpy, laughing, mobile creatures. We ordered our water and promptly ordered the challenge. It was a 1kg burger challenge which included: a bun, 2 beef burgers (with extra salt), 2 rashers of bacon, 2 chicken fillets, a lump of chilli con carne and a pitiful lettuce leaf fraction which I can only assume was there by accident. It was topped off with 6 onion rings and pierced through the heart with a skewer. The plate was sprinkled with a flooding of chips, which coated the burger and the rest of the plate. 

As I looked upon the challenge, it seemed tough, yet it didn't seem like an impossible venture. One by one I started with the chips, smothering them with ketchup, mayonnaise and any other condiment I could find to change the tastes in my mouth to some sort of variety. Slowly, I switched to the burger and straight away I was hit by a wall of salt. The burger was loaded with my yearly salt intake- which I think was strategically placed in the meal to make it more unbearable. I thought I had it. I thought I was going to finish. I wasn't feeling full at all... or so I thought.

Looking over at how my friends were getting on... 2 of them were almost finished, making it look like a piece of cake, or a really small burger! The other 2 had given up. Which side was I on? The more I wanted to be on the victorious side, the more I was hindering myself.

I decided to go for a walk to digest the food I had eaten and make room for the second round to finish this thing. I walked to the bathroom, but feeling delirious in a food coma, the inevitable happened...

Ding. Ding. Ding. And within a few seconds it was over. There was no point in eating anymore, because I wouldn't have ever completed the challenge. I was on the team I didn't want to be on.

Only one of us had completed the challenge victorious, but looking back, was it a victory? Or did the burger unknowingly beat us all?

My body rejected the burger, the salt, and my pride; because it was all gone that night.

I am no Adam Richmond, but in that challenge of Man vs Food... Food knocked me out!

I don't think I will be getting my O.W.L.S...

For the past week, my life has been submerged in work: Studying for exams. Today was my first one. After a few days of stressing about it and banging my head against a very hard table, I woke up this morning with rays of motivation beaming from me. I was adamant that I was going to do okay in this exam, or so I thought...

In reality:

I woke up without beaming rays of motivation but more of dripping drops of nervousness. Opened my curtains to reveal a snowy horizon, I wasn't sure if this was a sign to come of the frosty reception of the exam paper.

I studied, with panic, for the last few hours I had. Confident I was going to do okay.

Half way through the exam, I wanted to vomit and cry simultaneously whilst punching myself. I feel like Prof. Snape would have written a kinder paper for Harry.

Not a great paper, however, now as I sit with a warm, comforting cup of tea to end the day, it still seems like I've done at least one good thing today!

I study Computer Science, is this something that I feel like pursuing any further? Not anymore! After this exam, I might not even be allowed to.

Life is weird. It takes you on a crazy ride with you steering using decisions. The outcome is unknown. The destination is not the goal. The fun is in the wonder.

But, let's just say: Based on this paper... I don't think I will be getting my computing O.W.L.S!

Happy New Year!

Well, we are 11 days into the new year. Well Done to you for getting so far into it already!

2013. 2013? 2013!?!?!?! I can see where the Mayans were coming from. 2013 is so weird to say. It doesn't flow. 2011 is normal. 2012 is pretty easy to say. 2013 and you just want to skip right over the year. Maybe, it will get better soon.

So for now, the world has not ended or changed in anyway, so for that... let's release some balloons as a celebration...

Every year- at the beginning of it- I decide on a resolution. Not a big one, sometimes it's: "this year I will make a sandwich" and I usually complete it and then I feel amazing about completing my new years resolution. So, this year I wanted to step up my game and got to thinking.

I didn't want to choose any cliche, that everyone chooses because I want to be different and original and creative. However, I'm not very good at thinking up things and got slightly overwhelmed and well...

Just to inform you. New years resolutions aren't meant to make you want to throw yourself in front of a bus or bang your head on the table out of frustration, if it does: You are doing it wrong!

So, after several hours I thought of something... Something cool. Something amazing. Something that made me think: 'Yeh, I'll just go with it'.

My new years resolution is to calm down and take it easy! I think I might be able to do that.

Yup, I'm going to boss this year!

I hope you all have an above-average year! 

P.S. I am planning to post more blogs this year so keep a lookout!

Pampering at the Parlour?

Social convention dictates that every girl will like going to the hairdressers, that they find it a treat, a luxury, something that they look forward to. For me, it is something which I dread, something which I don't look forward to; I would rather visit the dentist (some people's nightmare!) than go to the hairdressers!

The reason I hate visiting the hairdresser so much, is because every time I go, it always ends up going the same way. I feel I would have more fun tackling a flying hippopotamus than sitting that "swivelley"chair with that "plastic cloak" suffocating your comfort-ablity. 

Whenever I decide to go get my hair cut, I am always such the optimistic gorilla.

So, I always enthusiastically choose where I want to go this time (as it may be better than the place I went to last time... but it never is!). And within the first few footsteps in the salon, I feel nervous- I am filled with looks of judgement from everybody in there and it is not a place I would call my Wonderland!

I never know what style to go for, I always just want my hair trimmed (that's all!). But then I am dunked with a bucketful of questions from the hairdresser: "What side do you wear your fringe?... Do you want it choppy?... Do you want this treatment?..." And my answer to it all is "I DON'T KNOW! Just trim it!"

Then, there is the uncomfortable factor of small talk once you are in the chair. Usually, hairdressers are supposed to come up with it for themselves, but the ones I have been to have been so awkward and have been able to make a lion's den worse for me! 

What I always do though, is stipulate exactly how much I want off. Apparently, hairdressers' rulers aren't the same measurement as the rest of the universe! 1 inch to them is 3 inches to everyone else! This is why, I have resorted to showing them with my fingers how much I want off, because measurements just don't work! And then after all these questions and hard work of  explaining, I sit vulnerably in the Chair of Distress.

And. So. Many. Demands. From these hairdressers! "Head Down. Look right. Sit still. Get me some coffee!" (Okay, so I made the "Get me some coffee" up, but they might as well ask for it with all their demands!) 

Most of the time, I couldn't look worse than after I've been to the hairdresser. I hate the way they've done it. It's too short. They blow-dried and straightened it into the smithereen it is and now I have to go out into public with this newly-done disaster! It cost a fortune and all I want is some milk and cookies to cheer me up!

Then comes the horrible part. They bring out that nasty small mirror (To confirm your hatred of your new hair) but you have to convince them that you love it and are so happy with it and the tears in your eyes are from happiness! But what you really want to do is put a hoodie on so you don't have to deal with your new hair cut and go home!

Things don't get better when you get home. You go up to the closest mirror there is, just to check if it is as short as your remembered and styled in the completely wrong way. And everyone you talk to tries to convince you that it isn't that bad but through the mirror it starts to look worse and worse and worse until you start to over-react and think that your hair has turned into green slime of misery forever.... and this is only 5 minutes within the time you get back from the salon!

After all of this. You continue to look in the mirror on a daily basis for a few days, until one day you stare at your new hair-do and decide that actually it isn't that bad... You can live with it! 

And then you leave it to grow out until... The Next Dreaded Appointment!

(NOTE: A small amount of hairdressers think and act like this.)

Modern World Techno Hates (Part 3)

I have decided to make 'Modern World Techno Hates' a trilogy. This will therefore be my last post in the series.

I was thinking about what I could possibly write about in my hatings of technology... There are just so many! And as I was thinking about it, my laptop had a spasm of memory overload and wouldn't do what I was telling it to! My next choice of techno-hate was clearly evident from this episode.

I am no fan of the superstar known as laptops... and I don't think laptops are a fan of me! I was astounded by the "portable computing devices known as 'laptops'" when they first came out, however I have now had my fair share of them and I am not impressed!

They are heated masses of technological failure- in my opinion. Flimsy with hinges of pretension. Nothing beats a desktop. They are indestructible, modern bricks of data.... I would happily build my technological PC house with them!

A year ago, I was using Skype with my 5 month old laptop. Heavily interested in my conversation, I decided that I would pleasure in a cup of tea. I went into the kitchen- carrying my laptop- and placed it down on the stove which was turned off. It was a surface stove so when it was off, it was like a table (a reason as to why I foolishly put a laptop on a stove). I wanted to get the perfect angle so I could continue with my conversation, only the back of the laptop pushed one of the dials on! My laptop was now cooking on the stove- without my consent! Within a minute, I smelt an aroma from the kitchen which was not luscious lemon-drizzle cake or tantalizing turkey but odorous plastic-melt!

The surface of my laptop was melting to a sticky sauce and without thinking, I saved it's life! I took it off just in time that it was still working, but would have damages for life! It would stand at a limp forever.

I bought mouse-pads (an accessory for my beloved desktop) and stuck it with adhesives at the bottom of my sickly laptop so that it had a crutch and was level on my desk. And this is the story of how I scarred my laptop with a foolish act, I could never do this with a desktop... The heaviness of the machine serves as a benefit to my stupidity, apparently!

I now use another, new laptop, however I have already broken the clips which hold the battery in. The laptop is shaking with nervousness, waiting for my next brainless act.

This is the reason why I hate laptops, it isn't their fault, but I will forever blame their slimline, light build!

'MEL! MEL! MEL!'... (Just desktops calling my name!)

Modern World Techno Hates (Part 2)

I've been living my life since my last blog post and I thought the next 'Modern World Techno Hate' was quite obvious. I've been hating on it since I finished my last blog post. The second blog of the techno-hating series is about: Microwaves!!!

To some people microwaves may not seem like modern technology, but it totally is! I classify anything that cavemen didn't have as 'modern'- microwaves are like a spinning-heated, rum drum noised, carousel of modern-atty. 

My first problem with microwaves is their noise. It's a constant buzz of annoy-ity. Microwaves have been around for many, many years... Are you telling me that they haven't invented a silent one yet? Sometimes food takes a while in the microwave and for all that time there is a constant kitchen bee, buzzing around you the entire time!

Another problem, is that I don't think microwaves understand what you actually want heated up. I swear that every time I put a bowl of food in there to be heated up, the bowl comes out freaking hot and the food is still ice cold! How is that even possible? I'm sure that defies the actual reason as to why the microwave was invented in the first place!

Also, I see it as a ticking time bomb of kitchen explosion. It is so easy to turn a microwave on, and I think if nothing is in there, it explodes? Or does something like that. That is intense business. Or if you put anything metal in there, it just catches a light! It can't be that easy to burn your whole house down? I thought there would be a safer microwave made by now. All this does, is train people to be nervous-wrecks of fear and anxiety in their own house of captivity! This does not make for a welcoming environment at home!

And this is why I am hating on my microwave!

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... The noise of anxious-venom in your kitchen awaits!

Modern World Techno Hates (Part 1)

I have decided to start a series of modern Earth technology.... uncontrollably fascinating,  I know! There is a lot to love about modern technology... and even more to hate about modern technology! So, let the hating fest of fire begin!

I bet you are wondering  , what will set this series off? I have been thinking, wondering and pondering about it and I have thought about which one of my possessions I want to throw against the wall most. And the answer is...

MY PHONE!!!!

Years and years ago, we had these nifty Nokias that just called people! And if you were really fancy, you had the game- Snake on it! Now, you not only have like 5000 rubbish games on phones, but they do everything! Soon, I won't have to go to the toilet because there will be an app for it!!!

Every 5 seconds, I get a new notification from Facebook, or Twitter, or Whatsapp, or an Email or an Email from my second email address or my phone apparently just wants to say hello to me. But it never stops.

I am in a relationship. It is not a good one. It is long-term. It is needy. It is one that I can't end. And it is one with my phone.

Modern society dictates that you have to own and use a phone. But they have just gotten ridiculous. I don't want my phone acting like a ticking time bomb, waiting for my next notification. It connects you to so many people, yet disconnects you from most relationships.

I love to hate my phone! Take it away from me... and see how I die! But I will never be happy with it and it's constant nagging of notifications.

Ring, Ring... Ring, Ring.... "It's for you... ANOTHER NOTIFICATION! "

Boredem turns to Artistic Magnificence!

I was sitting in a class, but it was so boring like 'rip your eyes out so you just have something to do' boring. So, I started doodling and I actually created a whole montage of doodles, but there was one that I was particularly proud of that I decided to post for everyone to see!

Guess who this is! Yes, it is very inaccurate but that just makes me love my doodle even more!

I feel like making this doodle my pet, it's very cute!

Introducing me to Mr.Geee-tarrrr

So, This is me.

This is a guitar... (sort of)

This is me trying to play the guitar.

I have started learning how to play the guitar. It is a lot of fun, I have gotten no where yet but I aim to improve as much as I can so that I can play cool songs and stuff.

At the moment, I can't strum, I can't play any songs and I'm pretty sure everything I do is impeccably incorrect.

But the one thing that I can not understand at all, is chords! It's ridiculous! I've been following books and such, but I think that to be a guitarist you need massive hands or explosively long fingers!

This is apparently a C-chord? But in real life... this is impossible!!!! My fingers only stretch so far, I can't rip them into strips just to get them on the right places on a guitar!!! I mean... C'mon!

 My hands look like this, a proportionate finger length for my palm size, however I don't think this is going to help me become a guitar rockstar, if I can't reach the chords! And I'm pretty sure that the C-chord isn't even that bad in the guitar world but I haven't even learnt enough chords to give a better example, so C it is!

I want hands like this....

It will solve all of my guitar-related problems. Won't have a problem reaching any strings or frets with these babies!!!!

So now you know! You know that I won't be a rockstar anytime soon, or even decently good at playing the guitar anytime soon!

Rockstar dream- SLASHED!!!!!

Drowning in Unreality...

Okay, so I watch movies like anyone else, I go to the cinema and watch them or watch them at home on TV, you know the usual. But whenever I watch them, I get drawn into them so much, that I then think that's my life. And I act out the movie, thinking that's my life. It is quite awful. It usually goes something like this...

So someone will recommend a movie or a TV show which they think that I should watch. So out of courtesy, I usually watch it. 

And sometimes, I get drawn into it a bit too much...

And then other stuff happens. For example, I went to go watch The Avengers the other day. And I came out of the movie theater thinking that I was a superhero! 

 I was helping friends cross the road and avoid puddles all in the name of justice! It was really quite embarrassing for them, but I was so into the part that I was oblivious to any embarrassment that it might have caused. I was having the time of my life being a superhero!

In my mind, I was an actual superhero fighting crime over-looking my safe neighborhood. Until reality strikes and I jump off the couch, all ready for taking off in flight when...

I realize that I'm not a superhero after all... and I've just bumped my head.

I also went to  go watch The Hunger Games, and the same thing happened! 

Coming out of the movie theater, I was running around, dodging "arrows", hiding in the bushes! Mind you, it was quite hilarious and fun! 

Until I realize that my shot isn't and will never be as good as Katniss' and I am not in the Hunger Games!

And my furniture gets ruined! And I now I know that I took it a bit too far... Just slightly! 

And my face is like this forever because the next day, I talk to my friend and the conversation goes like this...

"Where have you been?" I hear you ask...

So, if any of you have wondered where I have been all Summer that has stopped me from releasing bundles of virtual joy in the form of blog posts, all shall be explained...

I have been out. I have been away. I have been exploring the world. Being an adventurer... a pioneer...

On my turismo, I found America...

I was in the hot, sweltering sun being a camp counselor. I welcomed the campers to weeks of outdoor fun, a venture to dive into the natural world. Kids indulged in ice-cream and mud fights and slime wars while I joined in with competitive lightening- that's right! I wasn't going down easy. I even have an award-winning dive down the jumping castle slide- that would leave any 6-year-old to shame!

During our weeks we...

Went canoeing in a fast and furious fashion, seriously... I could have been racing Nascars with my canoe! 

Did archery, Katniss has nothing on me! I would savage them all up in the Hunger Games! With the wind flying through my hair, the sunlight glowing on my bow- it shined with a golden glimmer- as I released my fingertips to allow a soaring bow to throttle to the bulls-eye of my target and within a millisecond you have instant respect from the campers. 

We sat by a campfire and in a conventional manner- roasted marshmallows, cooked over the fire, sang songs- all that you would expect with a fire at a summer camp. But nobody mentions the additional watery eyes, battles with the overwhelming smoke-induced cough and getting all your clothes smelling like campfire that comes with the territory of erecting a perfect log-cabin or tepee fire.

I also wrestled bears like a gladiator! That bear didn't know what was coming! 

So, after all the camping fun it was time to return home and now I just don't know what to do with myself! I went from having dozens of people surround me all the time, to sitting in the corner of the room all by myself!

So until I realize what I am doing with my life, I will be sitting like this, in the corner of my room! Frantically waiting for another summer at camp!