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Thursday, 15 November 2012

Modern World Techno Hates (Part 3)

I have decided to make 'Modern World Techno Hates' a trilogy. This will therefore be my last post in the series.

I was thinking about what I could possibly write about in my hatings of technology... There are just so many! And as I was thinking about it, my laptop had a spasm of memory overload and wouldn't do what I was telling it to! My next choice of techno-hate was clearly evident from this episode.

I am no fan of the superstar known as laptops... and I don't think laptops are a fan of me! I was astounded by the "portable computing devices known as 'laptops'" when they first came out, however I have now had my fair share of them and I am not impressed!

They are heated masses of technological failure- in my opinion. Flimsy with hinges of pretension. Nothing beats a desktop. They are indestructible, modern bricks of data.... I would happily build my technological PC house with them!

A year ago, I was using Skype with my 5 month old laptop. Heavily interested in my conversation, I decided that I would pleasure in a cup of tea. I went into the kitchen- carrying my laptop- and placed it down on the stove which was turned off. It was a surface stove so when it was off, it was like a table (a reason as to why I foolishly put a laptop on a stove). I wanted to get the perfect angle so I could continue with my conversation, only the back of the laptop pushed one of the dials on! My laptop was now cooking on the stove- without my consent! Within a minute, I smelt an aroma from the kitchen which was not luscious lemon-drizzle cake or tantalizing turkey but odorous plastic-melt!

The surface of my laptop was melting to a sticky sauce and without thinking, I saved it's life! I took it off just in time that it was still working, but would have damages for life! It would stand at a limp forever.

I bought mouse-pads (an accessory for my beloved desktop) and stuck it with adhesives at the bottom of my sickly laptop so that it had a crutch and was level on my desk. And this is the story of how I scarred my laptop with a foolish act, I could never do this with a desktop... The heaviness of the machine serves as a benefit to my stupidity, apparently!

I now use another, new laptop, however I have already broken the clips which hold the battery in. The laptop is shaking with nervousness, waiting for my next brainless act.

This is the reason why I hate laptops, it isn't their fault, but I will forever blame their slimline, light build!

'MEL! MEL! MEL!'... (Just desktops calling my name!)

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