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Monday, 30 April 2012

10 Ways to say 'NO!'

Sometimes people ask us to do things that we don't really want to do (Actually, we would do anything BUT that!) However, you don't know how to say 'NO!'. Well, fear not my young pioneers, I will tell you how to say 'NO!'. These 10 ways to say 'NO!' are easy, pose no further questions and leave you doing whatever you want... You're welcome! 

I would love to, but...

1) I want to spend more time with my blender.
2) I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
3) I'm going to my vanilla cheesecake withdrawal meeting.
4) My crayons have melted together!
5) I'm getting deported.
6) I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
7) The Queen said she might drop in.
8) I'm building the moon from a kit.
9) I'm emptying my sandbox and then filling it again with the same sand.
10) I have to sing with my pet flea, Thomas Henry III. 

So, there are 10 ways that I like to say 'No!' and nobody ever asks me questions after that, they are usually pretty silent and quite stare-y actually to (But I don't know why, they are a bit weird).

(I bet you're wondering why you never thought of this sooner!) 

Lunch Time Antics...

I love lunch time, I enjoy the camaraderie with friends and the options for meals from a simple sandwich to a magnificent feast, there is so much to choose from. I find that when I have lunch with friends, we often discuss what we are going to eat, questions flying about all over the place... Cafe? Restaurant? Fast food? It is all such a puzzle, an enjoyable puzzle... however I can never seem to make a decision. I am the worst decision decider in the world! I don't even know why I am sometimes chosen to make a decision about lunch, because most of the time, it goes a little something like this...

That is how it goes... ALL THE FREAKING TIME!!! I just can't make up my mind and end up taking 30 minutes to decide on something we mentioned in the first 15 seconds!!!! It is quite fantastic how the pattern goes, and I never seem to learn. Anybody else have this lunch time routine? 

...But I don't learn and can't see it changing in any way. Which is good, because otherwise it certainly would not be lunch!!! 

Friday, 27 April 2012

A Very Happy Birthday

Sometimes we get forced to do things we don't want to do... But, I always try to make the best out of a bad situation. Even if you know you won't enjoy it, make it so you do!!!




Look how much fun we can have at places we don't really want to be at! You just have to think outside the box! 

So, next time you go to a party you don't want to be at... You know what to do! ;) 

This is dedicated to my friend Pam, whose Birthday it is today! Happy Birthday!!!! (Hope you got to blow out your own candles!) 

Thursday, 26 April 2012

Babies- Never grow up

The life of a baby is the perfect college/university student life. Everything a baby does, a college student wish they did! So... babies, listen up! Don't grow up! Why would you when you have the perfect life! Sleeping whenever you want, eating whenever you want... it perfect! 

A baby sleeps whenever they want. A college student wishes they could sleep whenever they want:

A baby likes the food they eat. A college student wishes they would like the food they eat:

So, yes. Take note babies. Grow up?! No you don't! 

Okay... I know that's impossible! Ignore everything I just said!

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Pet Peeves (And I don't mean my pet named 'Peeves'!)

So, today I was thinking about all the stuff I hate and I came up with quite a list! But I thought I would share 4 of my worst! (And I'm sure most of you feel the same way about all of these!)

So... I will go up in increasing order of hatred, starting with wobbly tables! 

Okay... so this might be something small, but I hate writing or eating on a table that wobbles ('s just something I hate) But not only that, I hate it when you have to put cardboard under it to stop wobbling. WHY is it wobbling in the first place??? The table should not wobble! If I was in charge of the universe... wobbly tables would be illegal! It's just so annoying. Make your tables properly!

The next thing I hate is when people use 'text language' on ridiculously small words. So, when people use 'u' instead of you... does it take so much longer you type the 'y' and 'o'? I just don't get it... 'LOL' is absolutely fine because you're not going to type 'I am laughing out aloud Haha' but 'y' instead of 'why'? I mean really... why? And '2' for 'two'... three-letter words aren't long, it takes me 0.5 seconds to type a three letter word (if so long). So, that's my second pet peeve.

My third pet peeve I feel very strongly about... And that is when you are filling in a form and they ask for your email address and there isn't enough blocks, they never give enough space for you to write! (My email address isn't even long, it's my name and surname!!!). These forms don't ever give you enough space, so you look like a weirdo writing up and down and left and right just to try and fit everything in... letters get put on top of each other and it is a bit hectic and nobody knows where they are and it's all confusing. Just give us enough space and this problem goes away!!! Simple.

And my last pet peeve is the ultimate! When I listen to music, I use earphones. I always make sure that I fold my earphones neatly and wrap it up and it looks beautiful. I'm rocking the neatness of my earphones, but whenever I return to them and want to unwind these earphones, they are in some tangled massacre. Like they just decide to postpone my music-listening enjoyment and want a bit of fun of their own. I still don't know how this happens! (I don't even move them in between the winding up and the unwinding).

I can't be the only one with these issues? (Or am I just complaining?)

What are some of your pet peeves?

Okay, that is me and my pet peeves. Over and out.

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Birds are so sassy!

When did birds get so sassy? I thought when you walk up to birds, they fly away? Well... this has not been the case with my recent experiences with birds! They are so sassy! I was sitting by a window door once and this bird walks up to the door (considering the fact... that I am right there!). He then explores and walks to the right to go investigate. He was such a pioneer walking around. I was shocked!

And then, when I was driving down the road these birds were in the road so I slowed down but kept going (slowly)- thinking they would fly away. What do they do? They start running with the car! Seriously... And make me drive behind them, how cheeky!

When I walk in cities, there are birds just trotting around, hopping in front of people. That isn't the problem, the problem is when they decide to fly when you are near, then they decide to fly! And it is then when I have the mini-heart attack, because it is always like they want to purposely fly into your face. So you duck (because obviously you don't want a bird to slap on your face) and then they scoop up and fly like a billion miles above you anyway and make you look like a walking weirdo! (Maybe it is like an inside joke with birds or something!)

An the award to the Sassiest Animal goes to:

Watch out for those little tykes!

Terrifying Monsters

I was lying in my bed- ready to go to sleep- when all of a sudden this huge black spider crawls out of a box (Which was near my head!!!!!) and then goes to the roof (like spiders do). Now, I'm in a bit of a dilemma because I can't possible close my eyes (Because I know, it might jump on me and attack me or something). Stupidly, I lost sight of it and it 'disappeared'. Now, if there is one thing I hate about spiders that I can see it spider's that I can't see. Where did it go?!?!?!? Where??? WHERE!?!?!?

Being South African, people usually think that I can handle spiders and snakes and lizards and leopards and whales. Well, let me just say... I am pretty terrified of it all! I hate the look of spiders and the feel of lizards and the slithery-ness of snakes and the ability for the leopards to pounce on me! And this goes for a lot of animals, except elephants (I do like an elephant) and lions (except they would probably eat me) and dogs... I love dogs.

When I see a dog, I'm all like:

They are so cute and cuddly and playful and happy and THE BEST!

Ooooh, giraffes!!! They are pretty cool.

But, I'm pretty scared of all other animals. I like to watch them on TV though, so I know that they won't attack me, but I can admire how beautiful their non-harmful ways are. I'm talking about all animals that aren't like farm animals... all those animals are just like eating grass, moo-ing, rolling around in the mud... They are fine.

But spiders and rats are the worst! I'd rather be surrounded by a pack of lions than rats and spiders! (Is that stupid?)

But when I first see a spider, I'm really scared and I'm all like:

And I don't speak because it might come to me. But then I look at it and get really grossed out.

But, I've lived 19 years with not being harmed by a spider or rat so I think I've done quite well. And it gives me hope for the rest of my years, which is really cool! It's like a 19-year landmark (Well Done for not dying from a spider!).

Now, excuse me as I go celebrate my landmark!

Monday, 23 April 2012

The Rocker of the Kitchen

I just thought I should share the amazing condiment of Ketchup and how marvelous and spectacular this invention is. I don't know who thought of the recipe, but they would be quite the boss! Ketchup is truly the condiment of joy, the epitome of perfection and the red river of luxury.

It goes with everything!!!!!! And I literally mean everything! Chips, Burgers, Pizza, Grilled Cheese, Hot dogs. But the thing is, they don't just go with Ketchup... it is the Ketchup that makes the food! I would NOT eat any of these if ketchup was not available to me!!! That's how much it means to me!

And I know!!!! I know for sure that I am not the only person that is passionate (or obsessed) with Ketchup. I mean it is so amazing that it can be called Ketchup, Tomato Sauce or Catsup and EVERYONE knows what you're talking about! How cool is that!?!? Like AWESOME.

When I see the ketchup bottle, I'm all like:

And I know! I know! That it is going to make my meal... and that makes me happy. So I add it to my meal and my plate usually looks like this:

You can never have too much Ketchup!!!

Sometimes, I am so tempted to just drink it. Because I know how spectacular the invention is and I just want to devour it all, but I contain myself and try to act like a normal human being.

But every time I have Ketchups, I enjoy it to the max. To think it comes from tomatoes and a whole lot of other things, but even people that don't like tomatoes like ketchup or tomato sauce which just proves how amazing it is. It is really the Superstar of the Kitchen!!!

P.S.                                    My after eating something with ketchup, every time:

Sunday, 22 April 2012

Awkward Moments

In life, I have these things... they are the most horrifying experiences I will ever have! They are the worst and you don't even know they're coming until they are (BAAAAMMM!!!) in your face! And by that time it is too late to stop them. But it isn't only me, yeah that's right... It happens to everyone! But at that moment when they happen and punch you in the face, you feel like you are the only person in the world that is stupid enough to let that happen. Well, let me tell you that you aren't! Everyone experiences these heart-wrenching, stomach-turning, eye-twitching experiences! These things are called AWKWARD MOMENTS! 

And I am here to give you advice on what to do once these awkward moments smack you in the face so that the situation can be less awkward for you! (This won't make it less awkward for the other person... but they made it awkward for you in the first place).

Here are a few handy hints:

1) Okay, so you are talking to a person and they are standing right on top of you, well... extremely close. We all know there is an unwritten law which says that if you are just having a conversation with someone you should stand at least like an arm-length away (or something like that... far enough for it not to be awkward) from the other person. Standing any closer so that at least one person feels awkward is totally unacceptable, it should be against the law it is so wrong!

The problem: One person is stand too freaking close and it is making you feel weird and awkward!

The Solution: Lick the other person real good and make THEM feel awkward!

Sorted! (No need to thank me!)

2) The next awkward moment is the dreaded 'awkward silences'. These normally occur with people you don't know that well, which makes it even more awkward. Face it... these are the moments when you would rather be licking the floor with your friends than awkwardly not talking to a stranger.

The problem: The other person is stupidly not talking and you don't know what to say and it's making you feel awkward!

The Solution: You have to make a noise and there's only one noise appropriate. Burp. 

Quick. Simple. Easy. (Please hold your applause!)

3) Talking to someone who has bad breath. I mean, it's really not pleasant and is making you want to vomit up all your food and it's really not right for them making you feel like that. You can't stand for it! You need to take a step to improve the situation so that you don't feel awkward and smell the bad whiff that the other person expects you to persevere with!

The problem: A person who you're talking to has really bad breath and making you want to vomit and feel awkward!

The Solution: Whip out a board and reflect that shameful, shocking smell! 

Consider it done. (I know, I'm a genius!)

4) The horrifying, horrendous, awful, dreaded experience when you greet someone and you go in for the handshake and they go in for the over-friendly hug (seriously... there is a reason you went in for the handshake and not the hug, shouldn't they sense that). It is really awkward and you don't know what to do and there is never enough time to switch, it's a real problem... a real awkward problem!

The problem: The old one goes in for a hug-the other a handshake and there is never enough time to switch and it makes you feel so so so awkward!

The Solution: I, honestly have NO idea. If anyone knows please tell me! PLEASE!!!!

So. Awkward. I didn't even know.

Okay, so that was 4 awkward moments and solutions to them (well... most of them). There are plenty more awkward moments, but that would be longer than the never-ending story! 

I hope that helps and GOOD LUCK in your next awkward moment!